Where Wheels Cannot Go.

Crutches sometimes help me get around where wheels cannot go, but not everyone has this opportunity…

Note: This can be a bit of a hot-button topic - especially depending on which vocabulary terms happen to be politically or socially “correct” at any given time. Please know that I don’t mean to be any source of offense, I’m just using the terms that I’m used to - not meaning any negative connotations. 

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It should not have taken this to have my eyes opened. Surrounded by the sights, sounds and smells of a wide array of flavors, fashions and traditions, it was a blessing to be raised in a multicultural urban environment. Living in a bustling coastal port city, was like getting a glimpse into cultures, sub-cultures and communities from around the globe without leaving home. In addition to the cultural aspect, I was also introduced to the lives of individuals of varying abilities and ages. When I eventually left my home state, I took with me a genuine appreciation that differences do not degrade the beauty or value of an individual life. But there was a group of people who remained out of my view, until I unexpectedly joined them. 

Before the first year of the Covid-19 pandemic came to a close, my active lifestyle came to a screeching halt. Three and half years later I am still a part of this hidden group of individuals living with an invisible chronic illness. While those buzz words have recently flooded the internet, I was ignorant of the fact that there are so many like me - who generally look completely fine and healthy, but aren’t. That’s because most don’t see us during the times when we can’t walk or even get out of bed. And there are places and gatherings that are physically inaccessible to us. You don’t see us, simply because we’re not there.

In some parts of the world it’s possible to have accommodation and adaptations that give us the freedom to get around and be a part of our community. In the western part of the world, using a wheelchair gives me the opportunity to do so much more. Although I faced the need to overcome social shaming as an ambulatory wheelchair user who did not “look” disabled, having use of a wheelchair made otherwise impossible things possible. 

But globally, most are not afforded the ability to even leave their home. In my specific location in the eastern part of the world, the combination of misunderstanding medical conditions and lack of structures and buildings that are handicap accessible has left me wondering what the daily lives are like for those with similar conditions - invisible or not. And what about the children? What about those on the streets? In this highly shame-based culture, do they even know they are loved and valued? Can anything be done to improve the quality of their lives? Or…should we say this is just the way life is here on this side of the world?

It makes many uncomfortable. Or at least that’s been my experience. Until I had Covid-19 a few times and haven’t yet fully recovered, I probably wouldn’t know what to say either. There is a tension between actively avoiding sharing the details of how the chronic pain, weakness, etc affects my life and the desire to bring awareness to the overlooked, the invisible, the hidden -  to be a voice for the voiceless. It’s not about pity, it’s about compassion, grace, mercy and most of all, love. 

Majority of the time, I’ve been given advice about remedies, steps to be healed and told to have more faith. Everything centered around the physical condition or the denial of it. It is absolutely important to receive prayer, believe for healing and to have faith in Jesus. However, there is something I’ve come to realize that is crucial, but overlooked. The hardest challenge about enduring a chronic illness of any kind, dare I say, is not the physical aspects. It’s not allowing it to become a part of our identity or allowing it to change our perception of God’s identity. 

Being that it is something that goes on for a long time and something that cannot simply be ignored, it takes no effort to be defined by disability. But we must know who we are in the Lord, that our worth and His love is NOT dependent upon what we can or cannot do. It’s never based on our ability to perform. Also, whether or not we see a healing miracle at the time of prayer, does NOT change Who God Is. It’s easy in the desperation of reaching for healing, the desire to press in like the woman with the issue of blood, to inadvertently make it all about us rather than remaining steadfast in the confidence of knowing Who God Is and our relationship with Him. 

But I wonder, how many do not yet know these truths? How many do not yet know The Truth? What can we do to truly encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ in addition to praying for physical healing? And what can we do to bring Hope to those who are hidden away around the world who do yet know Jesus?